Dundalk Wigger Trademarks “Motherfucker”

Dundalk Wigger Trademarks “Motherfucker”

Local rapper now owns rights to most cherished, overused word

Linguistic entrepreneur Dennis “Weasel Worm” Merlangus

 has officially trademarked the word “motherfucker”.

Dennis “Weasel Worm” Merlangus has not only built his life around saying “motherfucker” and at times literally being a “motherfucker” – he claims he has helped make the 12-letter pejorative a household word around Dundalk.

And now he owns it.

Merlangus has officially trademarked the word “motherfucker” after recently learning that someone had trademarked the word “hon”. 

“If that stupid bitch can trademark that ‘hon’ bullshit, then I can fuckin-A damn well trademark muthafuckin ‘motherfucker’ if I want to,” he told his probation officer today.

Merlangus said the trademarking isn’t about profit.

“It’s not about profit,” said Merlangus. “It’s about making money.

"I took ownership of it," he said of the word "motherfucker." "Not one muthafucker along the line has spoken or overused it as much as I have. When I started saying ‘motherfucker’ in kindergarten in 1993, over 17 years ago, where was Dundalk then? Where was Sparrows Point and Edgemere?  So you could say I took a fuckin’ word, abused the shit out of it and created change. Big muthafuckin’ change."

According to Merlangus, the biggest violators of “motherfucker” trademark infringement can be found in the black inner city neighborhoods.

“They’ve been using my word to start and end every sentence spoken for the last 45 to 50 years,” he said. “Now they’re gonna have to start paying to say it. Muthafuckers ain’t gonna like it, cuz they can’t hold a conversation or even a single thought in their muthafuckin’ heads without it. But tough shit. Those muthafuckers are gonna make me rich. I’ll be able to buy Gibson fuckin’ Island with rapper royalties alone. So it’s die muthafuckas die muthafuckas!”

Merlangus says that all derivatives and various spellings of “motherfucker” will be covered under the new trademark ruling.

“It is all-muthafuckin-encompassing,” he said. “Whether it’s spelled or pronounced ‘motherfucker’, ‘muthafuckah’, or my personal preference ‘muthafucker’, or used as ‘motherfucking’, ‘motherfuckerest’, ‘mofo’, ‘muh-fuh’ or just plain ‘M.F.’ – even some lame-ass shit like ‘mama jama’ or ‘miggy figgy’ – it all falls under the ‘motherfucker’ trademark umbrella.  I want my muthafuckin’ money, bitches, and I want it now!”

Merlangus is not trying to dissuade the use of “motherfucker”.  On the contrary, he encourages continued use of the word.

“Next muthafucker that says ‘motherfucker’ is gonna owe me some muthafuckin’ money!”